Accident & Emergency in progress

The Company threw me a curve ball this week when going on a meter inspection at Princess Marina Hospital Northampton. What at first seemed like a pretty straightforward job slowly started to really try my patients. Firstly Mr Sat Nav took me to the entrance drive, only to be blocked by a permanent barrier. I then tried the famous; follow your nose, ask a woman walking a dog and consult a map book attempts, but still with no success. I was (to be honest) nearly on the verge of giving up until a local said about trying to get there through the new St Crispin Asylum estate which proved successful and gave me access to a whole host of desolate boarded up properties. The problem was that unfortunately Princess Marina had been retired due to ill health about a year ago and since then had a serious infection of Pikeys which has led to a lead reduction from her roof tops, and a copper deficiency from her internal wiring, removed in a rigorous daily operation similar to that of Varicose veins. So the upshot is that ALL the normal entrances have been sealed shut to ensure that No vehicular access (aka white transit vans towing caravans) could get on site. I learnt all this from the Estates guy that I chanced upon, who escorted me to the correct building along with the no nonsense advice to “sit in my van and lock the doors and avoid any eye contact” while he went back for his battery drill to remove the 18 or so screws that secure the doors to their frames. Once inside you had to marvel at the clinical accuracy of its cable removal, bathroom fitting removal, kitchen unit removal etc at the hands of these reclamation experts (here is a website that I found that shows a small example)


The best bit is though, that someone had actually cut the main cable in, LIVE and removed a good amount of the switchgear and cabling along with part of the meter. This must be what Mr Cameron’s Big Society is really all about, doing your bit in the community?

The day got no better after this as I went to a property on very busy road junction in Northampton town. Unable to stop anywhere near due to double yellows I was forced to park three streets away. I finally got to the house and knocked the door a couple of times but with no response. I phoned the owner who informed me he would be about 15 minutes, so I trudged back to the van for my tools and then made my way back dicing with death across a number of substantial roads. 25 minutes later he turned up and we went in, only to be greeted by two girls in the kitchen making brunch. Through gritted teeth I asked where the meter actually was which turned out to be the cellar. As we stepped into the gloom the customer pointed to the left and I made my way over to the GAS meter.

I couldn’t make up my mind as I explained to the beardy bloke that I only do electrical work if it actually was Jeremy Beadle or that bloke from Rogue Traders disguised as Beadle that had just wasted about an hour of my life.