Its a jungle out there

I claim that I can spot an OAP’s bungalow from 50 paces with their plethora of stone animals hiding in amongst the flowers and vegetables and often a sort of windmill arrangement centre piece for good measure. Inside you will find knitted toilet roll covers, emergency tinned corned beef and a very strong smell of Brussels. What you don’t expect is a dog that is as big as a bear, called Rockefeller. “He’s a Plott Hound” the lady explained “they hunt wild boar and bears back in the States” I imagine that the only bare that Rocky had seen recently would be in the pie cupboard after he had eaten everything. As he got onto, and filled the 2 seater sofa he let out a huge fart which made me wonder about all the woman’s senses and prompted me to fall back into the classic British conversation topic of the weather. “It’s windy” I said. At this, she turned the newspaper over and looked at the header and pronounced that it was in fact Thursday.

I really hoped the day was going to get better but feared the worst.

I had to return to the Princess Marina Hospital later in the day to attempt some more tricky meter extractions. The maintenance guy smiled knowingly and shook his head as we set off around the perimeter road to visit the boarded up nurses homes. He pointed out all the original locations of the equipment but suggested due to the fact that pikeys had taken everything else that it was unlikely that our meters would still be there. It felt like a slightly surreal movie plot as he wished me well and sped off home before darkness fell, and I realised that my van may now be the most valuable thing on site! It transpired that only one meter remained to be removed so quicker than you could say “lead flashing and slightly used door furniture” in a Irish accent, I had it away on my toes with the luckiest meter in the world.