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Monday, 16 January 2012

Caught between a Frock and a hard Bass (not saying which is which)

Today I stand before you with my reputation of being one of Leighton Buzzard’s true hard men, lying in tatters after attending a party on Saturday night in Bedfordshire’s premiere narrow gauge railway town. Like both Grant Mitchell and his step brother Ross Kemp, I used to rule this manor with an iron fist and an involuntary twitch, but unfortunately dropped my guard at a belated 50th birthday bash for infamous Bass fondler Nicolas Beggs a couple of nights ago.

Red hot iron bar type head piercing for Jon Cheshire!

The venue for this extravaganza was Bar Buddha in Leighton’s bridge street which in our youth was (amazingly) the one and only LB music shop. For sensible musicians; brass, woodwind and generally things that are unstrung or don’t need to be hit really hard, the ground floor was a haven to highbrow harmony and studious musical bookwork, however should you ever wish to pass over to the dark side in the basement (the booogaloo basement), then a flirtatious wink to the salesman trying to close a deal on a Wurlitzer organ, along with frantic pointing (downstairs) would always ensure a quick, and quite pleasurable assisted exit by a clean cut member shop staff down through the special door and into the cellar and the walls of drums, guitars, effects and amps. Although I am now referring back to the late 70’s, there was still definitely a feel of 1960’s psychedelic about it and its patrons, with lava lamp swooshing blobs of colour projected onto the brick walls and jostick smelling afghan coated hippies attempting a Hendrix lick or at the very least a Jagger pout. How could you not love it?

Of course these memories were high on the topic of conversation on Saturday evening whilst we stood amongst the £250k (2011) refit and the slightly higher specced ,Taliban hating, laser guided pin spots that scour the room resting dangerously on folks temples for the briefest moment while ‘Good Times’ by Nile Rodgers and Chic is cranked up.

So what of the incident, I hear you ask?

As the throng dispersed a bit and the birthday boy became tired and emotional, I noted amongst the 80’s starlets the recognisable features of ‘Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy’ and Birds Eye beef burger actress Sandra Dickinson emerge and proceed to strut her stuff at the tender age of 63! Before I knew what was happening, the Beggs was cutting a rug with the blond bombshell and I was forced to show them my ultimate dance move ‘the gravedigger’ and some experimental jazz body popping, that Twist and Pulse would have been proud of. Obviously, without the glare of the media and paparazzi I could have laid low for a while, but feel sure that even while we speak that Nik Kershaw or at least one half of Go West is now uploading this to youtube!


  1. If they are, I want the link. I was hoping to see some footage in the 'related videos' section at the side of the beefburger advert, but sadly, nothing.

    I did end up watching some videos of Beggsy on the Chapman Stick though, which is an hour of my life I'll never get back.

  2. Harsh!
    Just for the records
    My legal team wll never allow my (dancing) image to be exploited in a beef burger commercial side bar posted by 80's starlets.