Phil Gardner

Phil Gardner near the extensive locks at Bow

Phil Gardner, one of the country’s top bloggers, retinal screamers and cat pimps has recently slurred my good name by hacking into my NHS computer records and threatening to disclose ‘in the name of public interest’ that I have a broke back mounting. In simple terms, for folk of a non medical persuasion this means; a wibbly wobbly disc or unfettered coccyx. His poisonous diatribe email then goes on to state that he thinks that I am permanently on the sick, and not safe to be around tethered animals*


This like many of Mr Gardner’s other stories are pure works of fiction. For example a few years back he claimed that 8 out of 10 cats who expressed a preference would rather shower than take a bath, and then more recently he stated that fish had eaten his feet and made outlandish claims to have written the internationally acclaimed Piglet Song.

I, for one am not standing for this (but not on medical grounds) and will be instructing my no win no fee lawyer within the next while

*poetic licence used, to enhance my point